Stop the Arguments, And Feel Loved Now!
Emotionally Connected Couples And Marriage Coaching In Just Three Sessions
Most of my marriage coaching clients have been married for 7 to 10 years, have two children and feel like something is missing in their lives. There is an itch they want to scratch, but they cannot reach it.
When they dated and married their partner, they got along wonderfully. They were satisfied sexually, felt connected, enjoyed intimacy and they honestly felt they found the “one” for them. Soon after marriage the first child arrived and they were caught up in all the changes. The joy, happiness, sleep deprivation and new stress of managing parenthood and work began to decrease that intimacy over time slowly.
The tingles Wife used to feel when Husband would hold her hand has now turned into disgust at the thought of him touching her again. Sex turns from pleasure into blame. Little efforts to improve here and there are not appreciated or reinforced. They are met with annoyance. A feeling of too little too late. Or are interpreted as she is just trying to manipulate you and you respond with scorn.
What was hot, passionate, and connected has turned cold, remorseful and often my clients feel ashamed of their bodies. Her’s has shifted considerably after parenthood. He has let himself go, just trying to keep up with the demands and stresses of life. Spouses, trying to be perfect for each other, forget who they are over time. Dreams, desires, and fantasies that do not fit the definition of “perfect” are packed tightly into additional baggage that is carried around but never used.
You start to feel suffocated and trapped. You love your children, but wonder if your marriage will survive or if you will be able to survive in your marriage? Should you sacrifice your happiness for your kids or should you be selfish and look after yourself first? Deep down you know you want both to be a great parent and have a good relationship with each other. You’ve both become so withdrawn you tip toe around each other fearful of starting a fight. You walk on eggshells to avoid tripping the pent up outrage in both of you.
All the excess baggage often gets to be so much you join the one in four Americans on happy pills, just so you can suffer thru your job, pay your mortgage and put food on the table for your kids. In all these cases, the first marriage based on infatuation faded and there was nothing left to take its place. Partners will go outside the marriage (infidelity) to get their needs met because they become too afraid to communicate their desires, needs, wants, and fantasies (which they may or may not want to act upon) with their partner until it is too late.
The stress of infidelity or divorce force spouses to do the work they are too afraid to do before it’s too late. The secret to a happy, productive, fulfilling marriage is keeping a clear agreement on the goal and purpose of your relationship. The longer you are married, the more often you and your partner will have to review that use and modify it. The longer the marriage, the bigger the scope of those modifications. While several purposes can keep a marriage healthy, the most powerful I have found is the joy of mutual parenting.
I founded Parent Marriage.com as a couples and marriage coaching resource for couples who both find great joy in raising their children, but are driving each other crazy! If there is one green leaf left alive in the relationship, the marriage can be revived. If you and your partner do the work and still decide at the end that divorce is the best option, you will save thousands of dollars in legal fees if you both rationally decide how to split your assets and co-parent your kids.
Over 3-months I will guide both of you thru the process of defining, clarifying and agreeing upon the purpose. Once the bedrock is laid, all the other issues around marriage will be re-negotiated. Once finished, you both will have a clear understanding of each of roles going forward regarding parenting, money, sex, household and work.
You have to be brave and take the next step by clicking the button below and scheduling a free appointment to talk with me by phone. Call me now at 305.986.2905.