Josh Duggar’s molestation, infidelity, cheating is a testament to what happens when a child is raised without any sexual education. All his failures are the responsibility of how his family raised him and his choice to follow and go along with it instead of rebelling and taking responsibility for himself.
Infidelity pornography watching it’s very common amongst all marriages because it’s not discussed its not communicated. Its not just men, women watch it too. The business is huge. GE, owner of Directv is the largest distributor followed by AT&T who owns the distribution to every hotel room in America. All the websites that are commonly thought of as the main purveyors of porn are small ta-ta’s compared to these two double D’s.
Josh is really no different than 50 to 70 percent of marriages that experience infidelity today. The only thing that makes his situation unique is his hypocritical stance on the subject, attending unproven and private treatment programs based on the same family and church values that created this problem in the first place. I am sure once his punishment period is over he will be right back to preaching to others about how to live their lives.
No matter what you profess on the outside about how you think you should live your life, it will never change the natural wiring of your brain. Your brain is wired for desire romance and attachment. Anything outside of that or how you as a person choose to respond to those stimuli in your brain is a conscious choice.
That’s what makes marriage a practice and not an end all be all. Being married doesn’t protect you from yourself.. It’s actually the opposite, marriage increases the likelihood that can happen. If there was no marriage, there would be no prostitution. Just because you’ve shared a bond or a commitment with your spouse that you will only feel desire, romance these things will never happen.
The moment you say you are never going to do something, it opens the door to attracting it in your life. You create a situation where you can now given that thing power over that person more so than if they were free to choose it in the first place.
If you choose a monogamous marriage the first thing you will need to get really good at is communicating all your desires all your fantasies the moment you think of them. That is the only way to take the power away from the fantasy. The moment you try to repress or not thing about it, it starts a fire inside of you, burning away at your resolve. Eventually your mind will find a resolve, create an opportunity and rationalize a justification for you to experience your repressed fantasies.
Keeping your head in the sand, not having open communication in an attempt to protect your partner and being very judgmental about thoughts and desires is the path towards creating and giving those thoughts and desires enough power, the person may actually take action on them in secret. This what does harm to themselves their family their marriages and their community.
I am sure Anna Duggar is wondering what she did wrong? Why didn’t Josh tell her about his desires and give her a chance to help him experience whatever he wanted to do? Sex is a sport and an art form. There is so much to learn about how the body experiences pleasure one can never master everything. Part of the joy of marriage is take one partner and to really get to know them. Josh denied Anna this opportunity.
In my coaching practice it’s not about me judging you and your life your choices and how you want to live in partnership What I coach people on is how to live how to communicate with each openly and honestly, so that they are consciously deciding about how they want to live their life and they have a process for communicating desires fantasies, dream, and ambitions, with each other. There is a way to do this openly and honestly in a way that’s not threatening to the relationship.
Marriage is not constant. You are your partner are constantly growing, learning, and changing. When you get married you’re not locking in this person in this body in this state of time you’re making a commitment to go on a journey with this person and you have no idea what obstacles barriers setbacks you’re going to have to overcome.
That person is never fully done developing, the person that you marry on day one, is not the same person the next day, or the next year 10 years down the road. The couple will experience new things as they grow into their body they also change and the commitment of marriage is committing to communicate address and go through these changes together in a partnership.
Marriage is a practice in open honest communication with one person for a lifetime.
If it has come to your heart to talk to someone about any same issues that Josh has experienced, Please don’t hesitate to contact me for a consultation. We all need to overcome barriers and getting a plan to develop your success is my goal.