Infidelity is a painful reality and the signs of infidelity will show up in many relationships. Often, with taking an honest look at these signs, and with realization, come shock, bewilderment, confusion and uncertainty as to what to do next.Man having secret phone conversation while partner sleeps

When signs of infidelity crosses ones path, little odd things a partner may say or do; nothing major but small insignificant things, can be out of character.

Knowledge is power; and every person should know how to recognize the telltale signs of infidelity. The future of one’s marriage may depend on the ability to recognize the telltale signs in time. The first step in solving a problem is recognizing that the problem exists.

Here are some signs of infidelity and patterns you may find common with infidelity:

1. There will likely be many ups and downs, spiced with dramatic flair. A partner may be elated at times and act as if life with you has never been better, but on the other hand, the partner may experience extreme lows.

2. One may struggle with being ignored. You might find yourself questioning your capacity to “love” and your desirability. The person partaking in infidelity may have affections centered on the other person.

3. A partner may speak about another friend or person. Not only might they want you to know about the other person, they may desire to share with you some of the details of the friendship.

4. Expect juvenile behavior. Many affair relationships are the result of unfinished business from adolescence. Perhaps the cheater was responsible for family or beset by some trauma or internally or externally imposed injunctions that precluded from dating, and socializing with the opposite sex, and “falling in and out of love” a number of times, which is so important and vital for adolescent development.

5. For the person not cheating; you may hear the persistent phrase, “I love you, but I’m not in love with you.” The thought of losing the relationship may keep the cheater connected. Fear of losing love that is stable and enduring may conflict with a need to follow feelings.

6. Expressing great remorse and professing deep sadness. This may be a manipulative attempt to find an easy exit from the marriage.

7. Displaced Trust is information that should only be shared between husband and a wife. Is information being shared outside of the relationship? Topics like sexual intimacy, irreconcilable differences, personal finances, and detailed accounts of a partner’s shortcomings? These are best left within the constructs of the marriage relationship.

8. Does the partner compare you to a friend or to the opposite sex often? Comparing once or twice may not be a problem, but habitual comparison is a warning sign.

Emotional signs of infidelity can start with a simple hi or a wink that can begin in a boardroom or a chatroom or out in the public square.  Secrecy is an interesting observation when you feel your partner could be telling you more about his or her new friend. Keeping secrets can be devastating and even if someone is bound to get hurt, angry or jealous, a successful relationship requires trust and honesty to not be compromised.