How To Use Vulnerability To Reconnect?
We all live in a world closed off to connection. If I openly connect with you, I’m making myself vulnerable to you. You could hurt me, reject me, use my intimacy against me.
Closed becomes the norm. We set up checklists, rules and expectations of how someone has to show up for us in our world before we will “trust” them with our openness. Once fully open, it begins to feel uncomfortable to maintain the openness; so we begin closing ever so slowly. Filtering information that might upset the other person. Now that we have seen them, we stop being ourselves, and we start pretending to be who we think that other person wants us to because we love them so much.
Expectations are nothing but emotional landmines being planted to be used in the future to retaliate if someone hurts you. Remember, the only person you can trust in the world is yourself.
Check in next week for Solution Part 3 of The 7 Most Common Marriage Problems That Can Be Solved In One Conversation – Conversation #2: Where Is Our Desire And Love?