About Matthew Hoelscher
Hello, I’m Matthew Hoelscher, the owner of Parent Marriage Coaching. It is nice to meet you!
You need to be in a better place if you read this right now. You are wondering, “Can this guy help me?” I expect you to be vulnerable and open with me, so I owe you the same respect.
These are the top 5 topics couples come to coaching for my help. Can you find them in my personal story?
- New parents with young children under five
- Death of a family member
- Career transitions or starting a new business
- Remodeled a home
- Cultural differences and In-laws
I moved to Florida in 1999 after Gateway Computers moved me from the corporate office in South Dakota to Fort Lauderdale to expand business computer and server sales. I was excited because I had just learned to scuba dive and always wanted to live near the ocean, and I had seen enough corn!
I met my wife three months later on AOL Instant Messenger, and we started dating. She learned to dive, and our romance took off. We worked hard during the week and went on fantastic diving adventures from WPB to the Keys every weekend.
I enrolled in “Automobile University,” setting the goal of reading/listening to 500 books in 10 years. I got them free from the library, and I finished in 2007 and read 30 books a year.
We were living our best life together, and I thought marriage in 2003 would “lock” all this happiness in for a lifetime!
Becoming a parent of fraternal twin boys in 2007 changed my life and marriage. I was expecting unconditional love and the bliss of parenthood. Instead, it felt like I was in hell. It was a high-risk pregnancy; we had multiple weekly doctor appointments and waited 2-4 hours per appointment. My wife was on bed rest, suffered from preterm labor, and missed her baby shower. It ended with an emergency C-section and the boys in the NICU for one week.
At five months of pregnancy, my father died of lung cancer only four months after diagnosis at 63. He couldn’t hold on until the boys were born. I think he had the best seat in the house for the birth.
My wife and I were fortunate enough to have good jobs with family-friendly businesses that allowed us to deal with all this. Then the real fights started! My wife and I never fought before the kids. We had daily arguments because I had no idea how differently raising children was in Latin America, specifically Argentina in my wife’s case, compared to Iowa, my cultural roots! I kept telling her she was doing it “wrong.”
I don’t know how I survived childhood because my mother never dropped Vicks VapoRub on me in 18 years. I swear we went through one gallon a year per child of the stuff! Who knew it cures EVERYTHING!!!
For example, the masculine says, “There is no medical efficacy to this treatment you prescribe!” Feminine says, “I have to do something as a parent, and if the child believes I did something, that will solve the problem 90% of the time.” Once I accepted that a placebo does work 30% of the time on average in medical trials, I stopped telling her she was doing it wrong. I could empathize with the need to do something for the child even when I felt helpless and knew I couldn’t do anything.
When the boys were two, I was laid off in the recession of 2008 and couldn’t find a new sales position in Miami that didn’t require speaking Spanish. I used my last commission check to sign up for the coaching program at the University of Miami.
I assumed I would replace my six-figure sales salary in 18 months or less, and it took years. In the middle of building my business, my wife wanted a bigger house for the kids and decided it was time for the four-bedroom Florida home with a pool. I agreed to make her happy, and then the pressure tripled on me because of all the added expenses and the debt we incurred.
I had to stop working and become a general contractor to get everything fixed, painted, and knocked popcorn off the ceiling. We are still finding the dust to this day.
Four years after an unsuccessful coaching practice, I was walking my dog with my new neighbor, and he offered to help me set up Google Adwords. Seven years later, I make more money yearly, cut my ad spend by 70%, and my former clients rave about me.
Once my boys started school, things got easier. I had time to volunteer at school, help with homework, run after-school activities, and serve clients. I stopped diving because my family needed me. I still drive the boat for my old dive buddies.
In 2018, I needed to find adventure again in my life. We decided to buy a Winnebago Travato RV and learn how to do “Vanlife.” All four of us take off to explore the country and have driven to Yellowstone, Acadia, and all around Colorado. My goal is to get my boys to 46 out of the 50 states by the time they graduate high school. By college, we can knock out OR, WA, and AK in the summers. I plan detailed itineraries to visit National Parks and museums, hike, climb waterfalls, and discover local food. I have also been visiting ancient Native American Mound city sites around the Mississippi region.
My new passion is Peloton for fitness and eating healthy. I cycle 150 miles a month and broke 10,000 minutes on the Peloton app across all their programs. I have joined the 5 AM club for journaling, meditation, and writing.
If you made it to the end, you are among the three clients a year that ask about my academic background.
My academic qualifications include a Bachelor of Liberal Studies with a minor in World Religions from Iowa State University, Professional Coaching Certification (PCC) from the University of Miami, and accreditation from the International Coach Federation. I am certified to assess Emotional Intelligence using the EQi 2.0 from MHS. I am also a Distinguished Toastmaster (DTM), cave and decompression wreck exploration diver, sailor, and an avid photographer.
My best qualification is reading over 1000 books since college, placing me in the top 1% of readers worldwide. My twin boys have been straight “A” honor roll students since third grade.
We will get along very well if you can connect with what I have shared. Make an appointment today.