Infidelity & Betrayal
Stage 2: Breach of Trust from Extended Emotional Disconnection
Stage 1 is arguing to attract attention. If the emotional connection between partners dries out for long enough, eventually that will find some other source to get their needs met.
Stage 2 is the betrayal of a relationship agreement.
Like a forest that has dried out from lack of emotional rain, affairs often strike suddenly and unexpectedly.
A frustrated partner eventually will start to vent to friends, co-workers or begin to seek out old friends to “reconnect” with on social media. The first intention is to find some emotional intimacy and connection.
The openness with another creates a vulnerability that can become very seductive. When you free heard and understood, it draws you in, and you want to explore the sensation more fully. Eventually, the closeness of the friendship sparks a desire and passion erupt leading to a sexual liaison.
Sex is a powerful emotional tool and triggers many feelings. The cheating partner usually finds happiness and relief! Often out of guilt they can become more loving to their partner and the relationship will improve.
The spouse is happy, but their intuition knows that they are NOT the cause of this happiness and they will have a desire to investigate what is the source of the change in their revived mate.
In other cases, the cheating partner will begin to pick more fights with their spouse because they upset that they have to find relief outside the marriage and a resentment builds up in the cheater as well.
They will deny affair and deny the intuition of the partner by saying they are “crazy” and “paranoid.” The deeper damage caused by the betrayed partner is the beginning of self-doubt of themselves. They begin to deny their our intuition and knowing. When they find out they were correct in the first place, there is twice the destruction to repair.
There is now the betrayal of sexual fidelity and outright denial of personal intuition and knowing.
Betrayal comes in many forms depending on your relationship agreements around:
- Physical Sexual Infidelity
- Emotional Infidelity
- Accidental Pregnancy
Broken emotional intimacy manifests by a partner seeking distraction by spending excessive time on:
- Flirting with friends
- Video Game Playing
- Recreational Drug Use
The second list contains many healthy activities to be shared IN a marriage, but when they are being used to AVOID your marriage partner, you have reached stage two.
No marriage can last without overcoming betrayals. All marriages experience betrayal in one form or another from time to time. Forgiveness is a skill that we all need to learn, and we can all improve!
Call me right now to schedule your first session, and you will be amazed at how easy it is to heal any betrayal with my Emotionally Connected Couples Coaching (EC3)!