--- title: "Change Takes Commitment to Coaching | Parent Marriage" description: "Change takes commitment to coaching, not a magic session. How many sessions it really takes, what happens between them, and what I commit to in return." lang: en json-ld: | [ { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@type": "LocalBusiness", "@id": "https://parentmarriage.com/#business", "name": "Parent Marriage Coaching", "description": "Emotionally Connected Couples and Marriage Coaching for parents. Miami office and by video across the U.S.", "url": "https://parentmarriage.com", "telephone": "+1-305-986-2905", "email": "Matt@ParentMarriage.com", "image": "https://parentmarriage.com/favicon.png", "priceRange": "$$", "address": { "@type": "PostalAddress", "streetAddress": "12755 SW 116th Terrace", "addressLocality": "Miami", "addressRegion": "FL", "postalCode": "33186", "addressCountry": "US" }, "geo": { "@type": "GeoCoordinates", "latitude": 25.6599319, "longitude": -80.4012802 }, "areaServed": { "@type": "AdministrativeArea", "name": "Miami-Dade County, FL" }, "founder": { "@type": "Person", "@id": "https://parentmarriage.com/#matthew" } }, { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@type": "Person", "@id": "https://parentmarriage.com/#matthew", "name": "Matthew W. Hoelscher", "jobTitle": "Marriage Coach", "url": "https://parentmarriage.com/matthew-hoelscher", "worksFor": { "@id": "https://parentmarriage.com/#business" }, "hasCredential": [ { "@type": "EducationalOccupationalCredential", "name": "Professional Certified Coach (PCC)", "credentialCategory": "certification", "recognizedBy": { "@type": "Organization", "name": "International Coaching Federation" } }, { "@type": "EducationalOccupationalCredential", "name": "EQ-i 2.0 Certified Assessor", "credentialCategory": "certification", "recognizedBy": { "@type": "Organization", "name": "MHS Assessments" } } ], "alumniOf": [ { "@type": "CollegeOrUniversity", "name": "Iowa State University" }, { "@type": "CollegeOrUniversity", "name": "University of Miami" } ] }, [ { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@type": "Service", "serviceType": "First-Time Discovery Call", "provider": { "@id": "https://parentmarriage.com/#business" }, "areaServed": { "@type": "AdministrativeArea", "name": "Miami-Dade County, FL" }, "description": "The welcome call for first timers only, free and on Zoom. Tell me what's going on and get an honest answer about whether the work is a fit. Existing clients book a paid session instead.", "offers": { "@type": "Offer", "price": "0.00", "priceCurrency": "USD", "availability": "https://schema.org/InStock" } }, { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@type": "Service", "serviceType": "Three-Session Package", "provider": { "@id": "https://parentmarriage.com/#business" }, "areaServed": { "@type": "AdministrativeArea", "name": "Miami-Dade County, FL" }, "description": "The path most couples take, three sessions to get the pattern named, interrupted and replaced. Booked as a package rather than one session at a time.", "offers": { "@type": "Offer", "price": "700.00", "priceCurrency": "USD", "availability": "https://schema.org/InStock" } }, { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@type": "Service", "serviceType": "Standard Session", "provider": { "@id": "https://parentmarriage.com/#business" }, "areaServed": { "@type": "AdministrativeArea", "name": "Miami-Dade County, FL" }, "description": "The core coaching session, built for one person working on the relationship, in person or by video.", "offers": { "@type": "Offer", "price": "175.00", "priceCurrency": "USD", "availability": "https://schema.org/InStock" } }, { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@type": "Service", "serviceType": "Extended Session", "provider": { "@id": "https://parentmarriage.com/#business" }, "areaServed": { "@type": "AdministrativeArea", "name": "Miami-Dade County, FL" }, "description": "Ninety minutes for both partners together, with room to work through something bigger.", "offers": { "@type": "Offer", "price": "315.00", "priceCurrency": "USD", "availability": "https://schema.org/InStock" } }, { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@type": "Service", "serviceType": "Marathon Intensive", "provider": { "@id": "https://parentmarriage.com/#business" }, "areaServed": { "@type": "AdministrativeArea", "name": "Miami-Dade County, FL" }, "description": "A single three-hour in-office session for urgent, relationship-threatening situations that need a lot of ground covered in one sitting.", "offers": { "@type": "Offer", "price": "630.00", "priceCurrency": "USD", "availability": "https://schema.org/InStock" } }, { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@type": "Service", "serviceType": "Short Zoom Session", "provider": { "@id": "https://parentmarriage.com/#business" }, "areaServed": { "@type": "AdministrativeArea", "name": "Miami-Dade County, FL" }, "description": "A brief video session for one person, useful between longer sessions.", "offers": { "@type": "Offer", "price": "87.00", "priceCurrency": "USD", "availability": "https://schema.org/InStock" } }, { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@type": "Service", "serviceType": "Long Zoom Session", "provider": { "@id": "https://parentmarriage.com/#business" }, "areaServed": { "@type": "AdministrativeArea", "name": "Miami-Dade County, FL" }, "description": "Two hours by video for both partners, a deeper working session without traveling to the office.", "offers": { "@type": "Offer", "price": "420.00", "priceCurrency": "USD", "availability": "https://schema.org/InStock" } } ], { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://parentmarriage.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Commitment", "item": "https://parentmarriage.com/change-takes-commitment-to-life-coaching" } ] }, { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@type": "FAQPage", "mainEntity": [ { "@type": "Question", "name": "How many coaching sessions will we need?", "acceptedAnswer": { "@type": "Answer", "text": "Some couples need one or two, most need more than that, and some choose to keep going monthly for a year or longer to make sure the change sticks. If you have been drifting for years, plan on a handful of sessions over a couple of months rather than a single miracle hour. I will give you an honest read after the first full session, once I have seen the actual pattern rather than the version you can describe over the phone." } }, { "@type": "Question", "name": "Should we book weekly or spread the sessions out?", "acceptedAnswer": { "@type": "Answer", "text": "Weekly when things are hot, such as right after a betrayal or a blowup, because momentum matters and you do not want to make a permanent decision in a temporary mood. Spread out when the work is connection, desire or long running resentment, because those changes need ordinary life to test them. It is your call and we can change the rhythm partway through." } }, { "@type": "Question", "name": "What if my spouse is only coming to keep the peace?", "acceptedAnswer": { "@type": "Answer", "text": "That is extremely common and it is workable, as long as nobody pretends otherwise. We shrink the first commitment to something the reluctant partner can genuinely agree to, usually a small number of sessions and one concrete change, with no homework they did not sign up for. Willingness tends to appear once a person stops feeling graded." } }, { "@type": "Question", "name": "What do sessions cost?", "acceptedAnswer": { "@type": "Answer", "text": "A 50 minute session is $175, 90 minutes is $315, and there is a 3 session package at $700. Video sessions are available in all 50 states and DC at the same rates. The first 25 minute call is free and it is for people who have not worked with me before." } } ] } ] --- [![Parent Marriage](/__l5e/assets-v1/323329b7-bfb6-4413-bc32-07161cb70b98/parent-marriage-logo.png)](/) [Home](/)[The 8 Stages](/help-me-save-my-marriage)[About](/about)[Marriage Straight Talk](/free-marriage-advice) [305-986-2905](tel:+13059862905)[Book a consultation](/book) [Book](/book) 1. [Home](/) 2. Commitment Guide # Change Takes Commitment Nobody gets rebuilt in an hour. Here is how many sessions this actually takes, what you have to do in the week between them, and what I put in from my side. ![Two adults arguing in front of their daughter](/assets/canstockphoto9952630-D0NwS7VR.jpg) You have to do the work and apply it in your life to create the change you want. That sentence is the whole business, and it is also the part people quietly hope is not true. They want the session to be the change. It is not. The session is where we find the thing, name it, and design the move. The change happens on a Tuesday at 7pm in your kitchen when you do the move instead of the old reflex. That takes commitment and it takes time. Not a decade, and not a lifetime membership either. Let me be specific about what it actually costs you, because vagueness about that is how people end up disappointed in something that was working fine. In this article 1. 01 [How many sessions this actually takes](#how-many) 2. 02 [Close together or spread out, your call](#your-pace) 3. 03 [The real work happens when I am not in the room](#between-sessions) 4. 04 [What commitment actually looks like on a Tuesday](#what-it-looks-like) 5. 05 [When one of you is committed and one of you is not](#one-committed) 6. 06 [What I commit to](#my-side) 7. 07 [What it costs, plainly](#cost) 8. 08 [Talk it through](#talk-it-through) 9. 09 [Questions couples ask](#faq) ## How many sessions this actually takes Some clients only need one or two. That happens more than you would think, usually when there is a single stuck decision or one conversation they cannot figure out how to open. We find the words, they go have it, and they are done. Most need more. If you have been drifting for seven years, one hour is not going to undo seven years, and anyone who tells you otherwise is selling something. A realistic middle for a couple who is disconnected but not in crisis is a handful of sessions over a couple of months, enough time to change something, live with it, and come back with real data instead of theory. And some people keep coming every month for a year or more. Not because they are broken. Because they want the transformation to be real and fully part of their lives rather than a good stretch that quietly fades by spring. That is a legitimate choice and I respect it. How the work usually runs 1. Free 25 minute call to see whether I am the right person at all 2. First full session where we find the actual pattern, not the presenting fight 3. You go live your normal week and run one deliberate move differently 4. Next session we look at what happened, including the parts that failed 5. We adjust, and you keep going until it is a habit rather than an assignment ## Close together or spread out, your call These sessions can be taken in close succession or spread out, and there is no correct answer. It depends on what you are trying to do. If you are in the middle of something urgent, close succession is better. Momentum matters when a house is loud. If you are working on a slower change, connection, desire, the way you two handle money, then spacing them gives the change somewhere to land. You cannot practice a new pattern if the next appointment arrives before real life has had a chance to test it. Close together Weekly, sometimes twice Spread out Every two to four weeks Right after a betrayal or a blowup, when the temperature is still high When the work is connection, desire or long running resentment Keeps the two of you from making a permanent decision in a temporary mood Gives each change enough ordinary life to prove itself Costs more in a short window, which is worth saying out loud Easier on the calendar and the budget, slower to feel dramatic ## The real work happens when I am not in the room Here is the part that decides whether this works. In the room we build something. Then you go home and there are 167 other hours in the week where you either use it or do not. That is not me pushing responsibility back onto you. It is just where change lives. I cannot be in your kitchen at bedtime when your kid has melted down and your spouse says the thing they always say. What I can do is make sure that when the moment arrives you already know what you are going to do instead, and that you have agreed on it together while calm. One move, not ten I would rather you leave with one thing you will genuinely do than a list of eight you will admire and ignore. Couples who change are almost never the couples who took the most notes. ## What commitment actually looks like on a Tuesday People hear commitment and picture something heroic. It is much smaller and much more boring than that, which is the good news. This is the whole thing - Showing up to the session you booked, including the week you do not feel like it - Trying the move once before deciding it will not work for you - Telling me the truth when you did not do the thing, instead of inventing a reason - Letting your partner finish a sentence you are certain you already know the end of - Protecting 20 minutes a week for a conversation that is not logistics If that list feels underwhelming, good. The reason marriages get better is almost never a breakthrough. It is repetition of unremarkable behavior, long enough that the other person starts to believe it. ## When one of you is committed and one of you is not This is the most common failure mode I see, and it is worth naming honestly. One spouse arrives having read three books and made a list. The other arrives because saying no felt worse than coming. That gap is not fatal, but pretending it is not there is. Only one of you actually wants this. What now? Force the pace The eager one pushes, assigns homework, keeps score of who is trying. It feels like commitment and it reads to the other person as an evaluation they are failing. The reluctant partner digs in, and the eager one collects evidence that they are alone in this. Lower the ask We shrink the first commitment to something the reluctant partner can genuinely say yes to. Three sessions. One change. No homework they did not agree to. Willingness usually shows up once nobody is being graded. Then we can raise the ask. I would rather have three sessions two people actually chose than ten one person dragged the other through. If you want more on why couples work stalls out and how to stop it stalling, read [how to make couples counseling work](/how-to-make-couples-counseling-work). ## What I commit to This is not one sided. If I am asking you to do the work, here is what I put in. I will tell you the hard thing. If the pattern I see is not the one you came in describing, you will hear that in the first session, not the sixth. I will not run out the clock being agreeable, because agreeable is cheap and you can get it anywhere. I will also tell you when I am not the right person. If what is driving this is abuse, an active addiction, or an untreated mental health condition, that goes to a licensed professional and I will say so plainly. I am a coach. I do not diagnose and I will not stretch my lane to keep a client. > The session is where we find the move. Your Tuesday night is where the marriage actually changes. Matthew W. Hoelscher, PCC ## What it costs, plainly A 50 minute session is $175, whether in the Miami office or over video. Ninety minutes is $315, and there is a 3 session package at $700 for people who want to commit to a real block of work up front rather than deciding again every two weeks. Video sessions run in all 50 states and DC, so distance is not a reason to stall. I publish those numbers because money ambiguity is its own kind of pressure, and you have enough of that. If the marriage is in genuine trouble and you want to understand the whole arc first, start with [help me save my marriage](/help-me-save-my-marriage) or the idea underneath everything I do, [the parent marriage](/what-is-a-parent-marriage). ## Talk it through If you are ready to actually do something rather than read more about doing something, [book the free 25 minute call](/talk-to-marriage-coach). We will figure out what you are really trying to change and roughly what that will take. No diagnosis, no pressure, and no pretending one session will rebuild seven years. ## Questions couples ask ### How many coaching sessions will we need? Some couples need one or two, most need more than that, and some choose to keep going monthly for a year or longer to make sure the change sticks. If you have been drifting for years, plan on a handful of sessions over a couple of months rather than a single miracle hour. I will give you an honest read after the first full session, once I have seen the actual pattern rather than the version you can describe over the phone. ### Should we book weekly or spread the sessions out? Weekly when things are hot, such as right after a betrayal or a blowup, because momentum matters and you do not want to make a permanent decision in a temporary mood. Spread out when the work is connection, desire or long running resentment, because those changes need ordinary life to test them. It is your call and we can change the rhythm partway through. ### What if my spouse is only coming to keep the peace? That is extremely common and it is workable, as long as nobody pretends otherwise. We shrink the first commitment to something the reluctant partner can genuinely agree to, usually a small number of sessions and one concrete change, with no homework they did not sign up for. Willingness tends to appear once a person stops feeling graded. ### What do sessions cost? A 50 minute session is $175, 90 minutes is $315, and there is a 3 session package at $700. Video sessions are available in all 50 states and DC at the same rates. The first 25 minute call is free and it is for people who have not worked with me before. [Book a free call ](/book) ![Matthew W. Hoelscher, marriage coach in Miami](/__l5e/assets-v1/793ff08a-677d-4393-a950-cb99a7968138/matt-portrait.jpg) Matthew W. Hoelscher, PCC ICF Professional Certified Coach and the marriage coach behind Parent Marriage, in Miami. He is a coach, not a licensed therapist, [Book a free call](/book) Book a consultation ## 25 minutes. _Honest answer._ Tell me what's going on and I'll tell you honestly whether I can help. No pressure, no sales pitch. [Book a free call ](/book) Or call [305.986.2905](tel:+13059862905) ![Parent Marriage](/__l5e/assets-v1/323329b7-bfb6-4413-bc32-07161cb70b98/parent-marriage-logo.png) Emotionally Connected Couples Coaching in Miami and by video nationwide. Coaching, not therapy. 12755 SW 116th Terrace Miami, FL 33186 Explore - [Home](/) - [About Matthew](/matthew-hoelscher) - [The 8 Stages](/help-me-save-my-marriage) - [Marriage Straight Talk](/free-marriage-advice) - [Book a Call](/book) - [Stage 1: Constant Fighting](/stage-1-stupid-arguments-constant-fighting) - [Stage 2: Infidelity & Betrayal](/stage-2-infidelity-betrayal) - [Stage 3: Stay or Go](/stage-3-stay-or-go) Resources - [Marriage Coaching in Miami](/couples-counseling-marriage-coach-miami-life-coaching) - [Common Questions](/couples-therapy-relationship-counseling-faq) - [Coaching Services](/marriage-coaching-questions-services) - [Talk to a Marriage Coach](/talk-to-marriage-coach) - [Conflict Resolution](/conflict-resolution-strategies) - [Fix a Struggling Marriage](/how-to-fix-a-struggling-marriage) - [Love, Marriage & Family](/love-marriage-family-problems) - [10 Common Marriage Problems](/top-10-stable-marriage-problem-example) - [Privacy Policy](/privacy) Contact - [305.986.2905](tel:+13059862905) - [Matt@ParentMarriage.com](mailto:Matt@ParentMarriage.com) - Miami · Office in Kendall, FL - By video in all 50 states & DC © 2026 Parent Marriage Coaching. All rights reserved. Coaching services provided by an ICF-certified coach. Not therapy, counseling, or medical care.