4 Positive Quarantine Benefits You Should Know
Hi, I’m Matthew Hoelscher, Founder of Parent Marriage Coaching. Let’s discuss the positive benefits that I’ve experienced in my family during the COVID-19 quarantine.
One positive thing that I’ve found over the quarantine is that there are many benefits to slowing down and stopping our busy and distracted lives. Hopefully, you’ll take note of these things, and they will raise your awareness so that you retain these benefits when o
ur lives slowly go back to normal. And if you haven’t implemented them into your family’s routine yet, I advise you to work on them in the time we have left before everything reopens.
1. The Value of Boredom
The first thing that kids need to be creative is boredom.
I know that seems paradoxical because we all seek out distractions and entertainment 24/7. Kids have video games, iPad, and computers, so distractions are usually easy to come by. However, when you take away this computer time, your kids will become bored, which frees their minds and opens them up to creativity.
Unfortunately, they must go through a sort of detox process. Whenever I take my kids out camping in the RV, they’re grumpy for the first six hours or so. They complain:
- “I don’t want to go.”
- “I want to stay in play Overwatch.”
- “I want to play more Fortnite.”
- “I want to talk to my friends on Discord.”
- “I just want to watch more ‘Let’s Plays’ on YouTube.”
By taking them out of their regular environment, you can detox them to the point that they can enjoy just being stimulated by nature. Over the last few weeks, we’ve all been experiencing something similar now that we are without the distractions that we craved so much. Eventually, we burned out, and that boredom can lead to new learning opportunities with the kids. In that way, boredom is starting to reshape our families.
Don’t be afraid of boredom. It guides your kids to creativity. I’m sure your kids have done something creative that has surprised you in the last few months, making you wonder where their brilliant idea emerged from? What are they playing with now? This is a beautiful part of any child’s development, no matter how old they are.
Even for us adults, my wife and I had done some arts and crafts and finally gotten around to some long-put-off projects. We never made time for them in the past because there were so many fun distractions to seek out and entertain us. Now that all that has fallen away, we can instead focus on our creative impulses.
2. Less Structure
The second positive benefit of quarantine is that having less structure has increased autonomy and independence.
To be honest, I expected the kids to be bouncing off the walls, being trapped in the home all day. Because we all stuck in place, my wife and I stopped putting so much structure and pressure on them. They learned to be more autonomous and started to accomplish a lot of their own goals independently.
Our home emulates the same principals of the workplace. Employees need clear goals, training, and freedom to solve the problem their way, but sometimes, a bad boss can get in the way of this. The same thing happens with our kids, right? We want them just to do everything our way, or we do everything for them because it takes more time to teach them to do something new.
Covid-19 showed parents how much kids could learn independently. They’re finding their autonomy! They’re discovering their independence under a lockdown. What a beautiful gift! That seems paradoxical; to be quarantined in your home to find your freedom. But that’s what’s happening because now that we’ve turned off distractions, we’re spending more time together.
3. Kids Have Stopped Acting Out
The third significant benefit of quarantine was the discovery that spending quality time and making your children feel loved and less rushed has decreased their acting out.
This, of course, assumes your family has not experienced extreme stress because of COVID-19 and that you’re still okay financially. In a calmer environment, a lot of kids have stopped acting out. They’re getting along better with their siblings, and it’s because there’s less pressure/anxiety on them.
Since March, we’ve watched so many movies together, cuddling on the couch. We’ve done some creative projects with our kids that we never would if we were still running at full throttle with our lives. For example, I did another video on installing LED rope lights in my child’s room so that now he can play video games and feel cool, setting different light tones in his place.
Little things like doing small acts of service, spending quality time, hugging them in a non-sexual way, and giving them praise and appreciation can make them feel loved. That would be a steady diet to make anyone feel loved, especially your partner, family, and kids.
4. Everyone is Doing Their Chores
The Fourth benefit of quarantine is that my kids are doing their chores.
Developing new duties empowers kids to be more helpful around the house. The beauty of giving your kids tasks, even though it’s hard to teach them how to do them, is that they develop confidence, making them feel like they are contributing to the household.
At seven years old, I trained my kids to do their laundry. They could wash it, dry it, fold it, and put it away. At the time, my wife thought I was a little nuts. They didn’t do a great job. Everything was wrinkled. The shirts were kind of crooked on the hanger, but that’s okay. They got through the process. And they felt special because I allowed them to touch Mom’s washer and dryer. They made me sign a specific release wavier, stating that it was my fault if they got into trouble! Kids love doing new things with you! As long as you give them praise and appreciation, after they do it, they’ll want to keep doing it!
The feeling of contribution means that they’re part of the team. It is no longer parents versus the kids. Instead, it’s a family, and you’re all in this together.
Actually, we are all in this together.
We’ve not only felt this in our family, but I have started to feel it in my neighborhoods. I’m closer to my neighbors. We stop and talk or outside more often, whether it’s just walking or gardening, we see each other. Our lake homeowners association started a social distance happy hour where we play music from our dock and social by paddleboard and kayak.
We’re seeking our freedom, whereas before, we were slaves to infinite distractions.
To start a new chore or habit, sweeten the pot a little. Start with small rewards, like a bit of money or ice cream, to make it exciting the first couple of times. Give them praise, give him the chore, and then get it set up on a routine. And within six months, every Wednesday after school will become laundry day! My kids would throw on their laundry and do it while they do their homework. Finish laundry, play video games. At first, I paid them $5, then I gave them ice cream, then praise. Now, they just do it without even thinking about it. It’s become a habit, and it’s a beautiful thing considering my kids still to have seven more years here at home. That is ten years of them doing laundry. Can you imagine what you would do with all the extra time?
Keep in mind that chores must be age-dependent. My kids can load and unload dishwashers, wash dishes, scrub down floors, run the vacuum sweeper. There are lots of things kids can do, and even if they don’t do them correctly, it’s okay. The point is that they get the confidence and feel like they’re contributing. That, in turn, increases their ownership and investment in the family, bringing you all closer together.
These are the four things that I found through a quarantine that have benefited my family, and that I want to keep after we open up our society and go back to life as it was before! Boredom leads to creativity. Less structure increases autonomy and independence. Quality time together and feeling loved decreases acting out. Chores lead to confidence and feelings of contribution and being a part of the team.
If you need help with any of these things with your family, feel free to reach out. My name is Matthew Hoelscher, and I’m a marriage coach. That means I can coach you on how to raise great kids! I’m not here to train your children; I’m here to educate you on creating great children and having a peaceful, happy, and productive marriage.
If you need help implementing any of these things, feel free to call me. You can schedule a free 17-minute call back on my website, Parent Marriage
I’d be happy to work with you. I have an office in West Kendall that you’re welcome to come to for an in-person session (with social distancing rules in place), or you can schedule a virtual meeting with me over a secure Zoom link, and we can work in the privacy of your own home.
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