Marriage is not a destination. It’s not something that can be purchased and consumed. Much to the disbelief of just about everyone, it creates more problems than it solves.
Marriage is like a musical instrument that the couple purchases together with the expectation that just having a baby grand piano in the living room will keep their lives filled with music. A piano, like marriage, is something that can absorb a lifetime of practice, never be perfected and will always leave room for deeper more fulfilling sense of mastery.
Most couples are unhappy because they blame the other person for not practicing. When the couple practices together on the same sheet music, beautiful melodies spring forth, and when couples give each other space to practice different music at different times, everything remains healthy. If the couple plays different music at the same time it can appear horrible to listeners, but the deeper practice and goal of mastery is still there and can be refocused back to the same music and create space for both to play their tunes.
Most marriages have a deeper problem.
The music stops. The piano is dusty. There is no more playing, there is no more practice. Nobody even turns the light on anymore. I used to think marriage was the problem. If there was no piano, there wouldn’t be anything taking up room in peoples lives and they would be free to practice whatever they wanted. Now I see the very opposite. Healthy marriages spring forth from the very act of practice.
When a practice isn’t working, it is NOT a psychological problem. You do not do therapy because not practicing anything isn’t a mental disease. It is a matter of motivation. A good coach is the master of unlocking internal motivation in the players!
Check in next week for Solution Part 1 of Conversation #1: What Is Our Marriage?
P.S. In just 3 months, you can transform your marriage into the most powerful personal growth experience of your life. Call NOW to schedule a FREE “Convo Quick Start” Planning session where we will design a plan to get MORE of what you want and discover YOUR biggest BLOCK in making MORE happen in your life TODAY!
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