As the owner of Parent Marriage Coaching, I’ve helped couples identify what they want out of their relationships and how to cultivate it. My approach is built on experience, having navigated significant challenges in my own marriage. By working together, we can transform your relationship into one of growth, connection, and strength.
What Is Our Marriage?
Marriage is not an end point, nor is it a simple solution to life’s challenges. It is a continuous process—an intricate dance that evolves as both partners grow and adapt to the demands of life. For many couples, the question “What is our marriage?” arises in times of joy, struggle, or reflection. This question signifies an opportunity to understand your partnership and foster a deeper connection.
The Real Meaning of Marriage
Marriage is often perceived as a union where happiness and fulfillment are guaranteed. However, the reality is more complex. Marriage is not a solution; it is a commitment to work through life’s trials and successes together. It’s an ongoing effort that reflects the values, decisions, and actions of both individuals.
In my own life, I’ve learned that marriage isn’t something that runs on autopilot. Whether it was clashing over cultural differences with my wife or adjusting to the chaos of parenting twins, every challenge demanded effort and understanding. Through these moments, I discovered that marriage is less about avoiding difficulties and more about embracing them as opportunities for growth.
Five Life Events That Often Strain Marriages
Over the years, I’ve noticed that certain situations often bring couples to coaching. These stressors can put even the most stable relationships to the test. Here are five key challenges I help couples address:
1. Parenting Young Children
Becoming a parent is one of life’s most significant transitions. It’s joyful, but it’s also overwhelming. When my twin boys were born, the chaos of sleepless nights, unexpected expenses, and the emotional toll created friction in my marriage. Many couples struggle to find balance during this demanding stage.
2. Grieving a Family Member
Losing a loved one often leaves a lasting impact on a marriage. When my father passed away during my wife’s pregnancy, the grief was overwhelming. For many couples, navigating grief while maintaining a connection becomes a major challenge.
3. Career Changes
Job transitions, layoffs, or career ambitions can destabilize a household. In 2008, after losing my job, I made the leap to start my own business. The financial and emotional stress tested the foundation of my marriage.
4. Major Home Renovations
While home improvements can be exciting, they’re also stressful. Remodeling a house brings decisions, expenses, and disagreements. During our renovation, my wife and I had to work harder than ever to stay on the same page.
5. Cultural Differences and Family Dynamics
For couples with different cultural backgrounds, misunderstandings can emerge in day-to-day life. My wife and I often clashed over parenting practices rooted in our respective upbringings—mine in Iowa and hers in Argentina. These differences can either divide a couple or bring them closer with effort and patience.
Marriage as a Skill, Not a Problem
Struggles in a marriage don’t mean the relationship is failing. Instead, they indicate areas where attention and effort are needed. Viewing marriage as a skill that requires practice can change how couples approach challenges.
Think of marriage as a piano. It doesn’t play itself; it needs the touch of its players. Sometimes the music flows beautifully, and other times it takes effort to get back in sync. Through coaching, I help couples:
- Identify their shared “music” and rekindle what brought them together.
- Develop communication strategies that address misunderstandings without escalating them.
- Create space for individual growth while maintaining a connection.
When couples learn to practice together—whether in moments of harmony or discord—they discover the deeper rewards of their partnership.
Plastic Flowers or a Rose Bush
Imagine marriage as a choice between plastic flowers and a rose bush. Both have their place, but they represent two very different approaches to a relationship.
The Appeal of Plastic Flowers
Plastic flowers are simple, attractive, and require no effort. They sit on the shelf, unchanged, and are easy to admire. Some couples enter marriage expecting it to function this way—stable and effortless. Over time, however, they may take the “flowers” for granted.
The Beauty of a Rose Bush
A rose bush, by contrast, requires care. It needs the right soil, consistent watering, and occasional pruning. There’s no guarantee of a perfect bloom, but when it happens, it’s alive and vibrant. A thriving marriage is much like a rose bush—demanding effort but offering real rewards.
During my own marriage, I’ve often returned to this analogy. When the struggles of life made our relationship feel like plastic flowers, I realized it was time to tend to the rose bush. My coaching approach helps couples cultivate their relationships with intention and care, bringing life back into their connection.
Are Emotional Affairs Threatening Your Marriage?
An emotional affair often begins innocently—through a co-worker, a friend, or a shared interest. The connection deepens over time as intimacy builds outside the marriage. These relationships are dangerous because they offer a sense of understanding that may feel absent at home.
To prevent emotional affairs, it’s essential to address their root causes. Ask yourself:
- Am I sharing thoughts with someone else that I withhold from my spouse?
- Are there barriers to open communication in my marriage?
Rebuilding trust and intimacy is possible with effort. Through coaching, I provide tools to help couples reconnect emotionally and address the gaps that led to disconnection.
How to Revitalize Your Marriage
Every couple faces challenges, but those challenges can become opportunities for renewal. Here are some practical ways to bring life back to your relationship:
1. Revisit the Foundation
Take time to reflect on why you chose each other. Share your favorite memories, dreams, and hopes. Remembering these moments can rekindle your connection.
2. Develop Emotional Awareness
Many conflicts arise from unspoken feelings or misunderstood intentions. Emotional intelligence tools, like the EQi 2.0 assessment I use with clients, help partners understand themselves and each other better.
3. Embrace the Work of Marriage
Marriage is not self-sustaining. It requires consistent effort to nurture communication, affection, and mutual respect. Small acts of kindness, like expressing appreciation or prioritizing quality time, can make a significant impact.
My Journey as a Coach
My experiences have shaped the way I approach coaching. From losing my father to navigating parenthood with twins, every hardship taught me something valuable about marriage. Starting a coaching business during a recession, remodeling a home, and overcoming cultural clashes with my wife gave me insights into the complexities couples face.
Today, I help clients find their way through challenges, not by offering easy answers but by helping them discover the tools they need to succeed.
Transform Your Marriage Today
If your marriage feels stagnant or strained, know that transformation is possible. At Parent Marriage Coaching, I specialize in helping couples rediscover their connection and build stronger relationships.
Here’s How I Can Help:
- Personalized coaching sessions tailored to your needs.
- Practical strategies for improving communication and addressing unresolved issues.
- A FREE “Convo Quick Start” Planning Session to identify the biggest barriers in your relationship and create a plan to overcome them.
Take the First Step
Marriage is not a problem to fix; it’s a journey to embrace. With the right tools and guidance, you can transform your relationship into a thriving partnership filled with connection and growth.
Let’s Talk Today! or call today to schedule your free session. In just three months, you could be experiencing the most powerful and rewarding phase of your marriage.
Let’s work together to help your relationship flourish like never before.
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