Osho in his book, “Bringing Up Kids” shares his view of healthy sexual development.
His timeline and logic goes against what the majority is taught in the Christian Western world.
From 0-7 years of age you discover yourself.
You find find that special spot in your body that brings you great pleasure with stimulated. The first time you are seen touching it, you are shamed, your hands are pushed away, and you are taught that “good” girls and boys do not do that.
From 7-14 this is the time of foreplay and discovery.
Boys and girls can learn about each other and their bodies BEFORE a boy’s or girl’s full sexual capacity has matured. It is a dress rehearsal before the real opening night. Instead, this is the time of separation where boys and girls are kept apart and there is no more youthful innocence and playfulness. Any play that is to intimate is discouraged. Children want to be “good” so they learn that if they want to explore, they have to sneak off and “hide” to discover themselves and others.
From 14-21 this is the when romance comes alive in the heart fills with romance, beauty, poetry and love.
Sexuality fully develops, the body changes and girls and boys are drawn to each other. This is where they normally would learn afterplay, the sharing of intimacies that happens after sex. Instead teenagers fight, rebel, and break free from the repression of their parents and upbringing. Without the playful knowledge, there is hunger to explore the bodies of the opposite sex, scarcity leads to taking what you want, and lack of knowledge leads to unintended complications like teen pregnancy. Instead of enjoying each other’s company, dating is just a means to an end. Instead of seeing how much time we can invest in pleasuring each other, we hurry along trying to get what we want.
From 21-28 if all goes well, you take a hunch and find one to settle with.
By this time, at least once, your desire, romance, and attachment are with one person.
From 28-35 is the most joyous time.
You have one person to deeply share and explore your life with another. Children are born, families come together and there is much joy and celebration.
From 35-42 if your partnership is growing, you will have created a deep orgasmic connection in your partnership.
If you haven’t, this is where the midlife crisis sneaks up on you. If something was missing in the steps above, you regress to get it back. You have to go back and fix it. It is normal to feel out of balance, because most people were unbalanced in the first 7 years going forward.
From 42 onward the marriage has served its purpose.
Kids are grown and independent and now it is time for two people to finished their own personal development by supporting each other. Instead of sitting around and waiting to be useful again as Grandparents, now is the time start focusing on yourself and supporting your partner in his or her sexual development.
Check in next week for How Do We Share Intimate Thoughts?
Matthew W. Hoelscher
Head Coach – Parent Marriage Coaching
Phone: 305.986.2905
matt@miamiexecutivecoach.com
www.parentmarriage.com
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