Most couples know something is off long before they can name it. They also tend to ask a question so large that it becomes useless: is our marriage good or bad.
This check asks about behaviors you can actually observe. It is not a diagnostic instrument, it does not measure mental health, and it cannot tell you whether to stay or leave. It can show you where the next honest conversation belongs.
Take the self check
Answer all 8 statements to see your result.
How to use the score
The score is not a grade. A couple can score well and still have one serious issue. A couple can score poorly because a brutal month flattened every good habit they have. Look at the individual statements before you look at the total.
Choose the lowest statement and ask: what would usually look like this week. Keep the answer behavioral. We talk for 15 minutes after bedtime is useful. We become more connected is not a plan.
If your scores are different
Good. You found the gap. Do not spend the next hour proving whose score is accurate. Ask each person for one recent example. Different scores often mean one person counts intention and the other counts impact.
If the widest gap is around hard conversations, read how to improve communication in marriage. If it is around connection, read emotional disconnection in marriage. If one person is already considering leaving, compare what you found with walkaway wife syndrome or walkaway husband syndrome.
Where coaching fits
I am a coach, not a licensed therapist, and I do not diagnose or treat mental illness. Physical, sexual or mental abuse, an active addiction, or a mental health condition belongs with a licensed professional.
If this check exposed a repeated pattern between 2 capable adults, book the free 25 minute consultation. Bring the lowest 2 statements. That is enough to start a useful conversation.
Questions couples ask
Is this a diagnostic test?
No. It is a short conversation starter about relationship habits. It does not identify or rule out any mental health condition.
Should both of us take it?
Yes, separately if possible. The useful part is not matching scores. It is noticing which statements the 2 of you experience differently.
What if our scores are very different?
Do not argue about who scored correctly. Pick the statement with the widest gap and ask for one recent example from each person.
Does a low score mean the marriage is over?
No. It means the habits measured here are not working reliably right now. That is information, not a verdict.