Create a Relationship Reset Button Right Now!
Would it be great if you could have a reset button in your everyday life?
Every mistake you make, every dumb thing you say could be wiped away in an instant by hitting the reset button. While this isn’t exactly a feasible strategy for life, it CAN be a feasible strategy for your relationship with your partner!
I got this idea from some friends who live full time in the same recreational vehicle I own, a Winnebago Travato 59G. These two women sold everything they own and now live full-time on the road, traveling the United States in 100 square feet of space packed with their truly important possessions. You can read about their adventures here!
This decision marked an entirely new chapter in their lives. And after 36 years of partnership, it also required some new tools for their relationship to thrive in the new environment. The biggest tool was creating a “RESET BUTTON” for their relationship.
Remember this:
Sometimes, it’s easy to forget that every action of your partner has a loving intention behind it. Even if it doesn’t feel “loving” to you. Occasionally, they might do something frustrating. You might find yourself in circumstances where tremendous pressure is put on your relationship. When these actions happen, you both need to “reset” in the present moment until you both are back into a loving connection.
With a busy life, big home, and stressful job, we often ignore the need for a reset, bury what bothers us, and carry on. The problem is that behavior like that is where resentment comes from, and you will slowly stop taking loving actions towards each other. However, when you live in a 21ft van, you don’t have the luxury of being able to bury anything!
Being in such close quarters forces you to leave behind anything that does not serve you in the moment. That includes resentments towards your partner. There is no room to get away from each other. Here’s where the reset button comes into play!
Feel free to choose a different name for it, but for now, you both can at anytime call for an emotional “RESET” during whatever happens in the day. Calling for a “RESET” forces you both to stop and check-in with each other emotionally for a moment to clarify your intentions.
Here are some examples in action:
- You have planned a big date, you’re all ready, but your partner is taking much longer than you expected. This leads to you and your efforts feeling disrespected. You become snippy and begin yelling to “Hurry up,” and “You always do this!” It’s time for a RESET!
- You arrive at the restaurant, but they lost your reservation or are busier than expected. You feel super annoyed, which leads to you being short with each other. Its time for a RESET!
- You want to ride every ride at Disneyland, but the kids are dragging, poking at each other, and crying. Its time for a RESET!
The sooner you get back into connection when something negative or unexpected happens, the better the overall experience is going to be. Yes, it is good to have plans, but to hit that target, you will have to make a lot of adjustments along the way. It’s simply impossible to calculate all the variables and possibilities that factor into life’s plans. And when something happens, you need to be able to adjust and reset accordingly.
Think about this:
One does not simply launch a rocket straight to the moon. The astronauts must make thousands of course-corrections along the way to reach their desired target.
The RESET button also helps with procrastination. We sometimes get the idea that the very first time we try something new, it needs to be “perfect.” And so, we never take the first step. Knowing that you can adjust or reset at any time during the process empowers you to get started NOW. Make something happen, rather than wait for ideal conditions.
When planning RV trips, I used to prepare a detailed itinerary and made sure I had campground reservations booked and paid for in advance. It’s good to have that kind of structure. But it led me to forget about the freedom that my 21ft van gives us. We would discover a wonderful attraction on the way, but couldn’t spend time there because we felt we needed to reach our intended destination by the end of the day. Today, I do things a little differently. I still make reservations at the big or difficult-to-get-into places, but leave the rest up to chance! By starting with a plan, but resetting it whenever I see a new and exciting possibility, I can allow for the beauty of the moment to unfold! It makes for better trips, believe me. And it also makes for better relationships!
If the concept of the “RESET” button speaks to you, I have many other relationship strategies that can help you start communicating again with your partner. Contact me today, and we can get started getting your marriage back to the beautiful journey it’s supposed to be!
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