Do I take Insurance?

During consultation calls, I almost always hear the question, “Do I take insurance?” I’m sorry, the bad news is no. I do not accept insurance.

As a marriage coach, I do not diagnose mental health issues. There’s a fine line between marriage coaching and therapy, as insurance will only cover medically-necessary things. A happy marriage is a cornerstone, but for someone to determine if something is medically necessary, there must be a diagnosis. The “problem” is that most of the couples that I work with aren’t crazy, right? They’re just having trouble communicating.

If you are thinking about contacting me, then you are probably currently feeling a lot of resentment toward your partner. There have been expectations and issues left unresolved for far too long. Perhaps you’ve gone outside your marriage to get your needs met? That’s one type of betrayal, but betrayal can also include spending too much time at work, obsessively playing video games, hanging out with the girls, shopping, or excessively spending money. I don’t accept insurance because these things are not medical issues, and are therefore not covered.

It’s been my experience that most of my clients resist getting help. There is a difference between being “broken,” and not understanding what it takes to create a happy, sustainable relationship. You don’t know what you don’t know! My job as your coach to help figure things out. Imagine your marriage like a Rubik’s cube, and we have to look at all six sides to figure out which edges are correct and which panels we need to unscramble. Remember, we need to unscramble those sides without messing up the right sides. What I do is a real art form!

And that’s why I’m private pay. I’m free to do what I see fit to serve the needs of my clients. If you appreciate and want someone who is straightforward, honest, blunt, direct, and wants you to move forward and fix your situation quickly, I am your coach! I don’t want to see you every week for the next six months, like a traditional therapist. I want to help you resolve your current issues by teaching you skills to keep your relationship on track. I usually see my clients for three 90-minute sessions over four to six weeks. I get results fast because a marriage can change the second you decide to change how you react and communicate with each other. Your marriage will change as quickly as you can change your mind!

Now, I know changing habits is not easy. That’s what gives me job security. So, my commitment to you is to provide you with the skills you need within three sessions and hold you accountable for that change. It’s up to you and your partner if you want to do it or not. That’s why I don’t take insurance. I don’t play by their rules, and I don’t play their games. You are welcome to use your insurance elsewhere! You like, me, pay way too much money for your health insurance, so I certainly understand if you want to use it! If so, please find a psychologist that has convenient hours, openings in their schedule, and specializes in marriage.

Just understand that most of them will either have a surcharge or a hefty copay for a 45-minute session. Now, I know that length of time works for an individual because that’s what I use in my life coaching sessions. When I work with individuals for 50-minutes, that’s plenty of time. But when you have two individuals who need to feel understood by me before they’re able to open up and be vulnerable enough to admit that they did something wrong and to do better, that takes a lot of time.

What happens in a 45-minute session is that you each get about 12 minutes to talk, which is just enough to start complaining about your partner getting you all wound up in that negative energy. And then the therapist is going to say, “Oh, all right, hold that thought. Time’s up!’

Most therapists see eight clients a day, and only take a five-minute break between them. So more often than not, sessions end no matter how you’re feeling emotionally. You get in the car to go home, and you keep the “party” going on the ride because your car has suddenly become a pressure cooker! “I can’t believe you said that! You’re so mean to me! Therapy is never going to work.”

That’s why traditional marriage counseling has a terrible success rate, only about 15 to 20%. And to be honest, I believe that most of that success is because a couple realizes, “Hey, if we save our money, go out to dinner occasionally, stop fighting, and be nice to each other, then we don’t have to pay this therapist anymore!” The goal of marriage coaching is to get to the root of the problem, then quickly learn skills to fix those problems quickly. You don’t want to spend a lifetime being dependent on me, the coach!

Now, if you need more time or have a variety of issues, I’m certainly available. There are a lot of couples out there that need my help. I don’t want to see you every week for the next six months because nobody’s got time for that! Especially when my superstar clients regularly bring more couples to me after such a positive, pleasant experience with marriage coaching.

So, I hope you understand why I do not accept insurance. If you have any additional questions, you’re welcome to schedule a free 17-minute phone call with me at www.parentmarriage.com. Head to my online calendar and schedule your first 90-minute couple’s session or 50-minute individual session with no risk. I also offer online help via secure Zoom video conferencing. Do it from the comfort of your living room if that is what it takes!

Feel free to call me now at 305.986.2905! My name is Matthew Hoelscher, and I look forward to working with you!